I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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