She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
