He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
