Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
