My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
