You smell like stripper and shame
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize