She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
