I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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