something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
