hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
