i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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