..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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