He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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