Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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