Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize