so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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