I hate all girls vehemently.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
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Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
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Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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