Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
