I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize