Can i not drive my cunt home
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
