Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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