There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
