kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
