he was CRYING into my vagina
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
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Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
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What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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