before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize