How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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