He told me they were just razor bumps!
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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