Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The best revenge is premature balding
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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