I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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