I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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