Do you still have your period?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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