Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trapeze. enough said
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize