We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
