I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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