Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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