I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
