elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just gift wrapped bread.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
