it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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