wrigley field is MILF paradise
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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