who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
