i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We're too hungover to prance.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
