I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
