yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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