Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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