sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
