I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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