ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
