Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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