The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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