He is such a slut. More and more my type.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
