Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
