My sheets look like a crime scene.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
