So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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