If that was your dad, he is hot
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
