The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
