I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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