We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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