yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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