I think I am morally bankrupt
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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