2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I need water and some morals
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize