I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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